Hello to everyone and anyone who gives a shit about a struggling filmmaker and his never ending quest for success. I guess I can start by saying THANK YOU! I can’t believe its been almost 4 years now since I have set out on this journey with my film Bong OF The dead. It seems that time has passed me by and I am somehow still stuck in the same place I was almost 4 years ago when I only had 7 pages of a script with no title. Of course that is not entirely true because my film has become a life force of its own and has shown momentum. After all It has become a cult hit and landed 3 magazine issues! Fans and critics from all over the world have seen it either on DVD or at my local theater and they have approved! I guess my fears of being torn apart by film goers and film critics can be laid to rest because that is not the case. In fact the amount of love and support and praise Ive received is quite incredible! My film has been accepted into a couple major festivals from Cannes Independent film festival to SITGES and now I have received word from Toronto After Dark that it is in consideration for their festival as well! I guess I have to keep going and keep doing what Ive been doing in order to keep the flame alive. Promoting a movie by yourself is no easy task let me tell you.
Most people who read all the press that the film is picking up probably think that I’m off to Hollywood already and that Im a millionaire because the film is doing so well etc. Although Ive been on 3 major TV shows from Urban Rush to Reviews on the run and Electric playground with major air time, it has not equated to my phone ringing off the hook. Robert Rodriguez nor Quentin Tarantino have not called as of yet…wait my phone is ringing as I type this…….nope! neither of them again! My film has become a global sensation and has had over 50 reviews all %100 positive but still I find myself working vigorously to get picked up as a director. This film is my resume and being as such you would think I would be getting directing gigs left right and center! Who else can boast about making an entire film by themselves aside from the 15 days on set where I had a cast and crew?? Not to mention for only $5000!! I know if I was a major Hollywood producer and caught wind of this little film by some jo shmo who did it with nothing but passion and pure love for his craft, I would be all over him like a zombie on flesh! Yet with all the great reviews and all the publicity I somehow manage to exist without true recognition. I appreciate all the awesome reviews and all the hype from fans etc. but when will my phone ring with that golden opportunity to direct the next Friday the 13th or the next Saw or the next cool feature film needing a new visionary young director?? At the end of the day that is all I want out of this. I use my talents and my passion to display what I can do in hopes of being picked up and given the opportunity to do more. That has not happened yet.
Im sure no one aside from myself, not even my wife knows what I truly do when I lock myself away in my basement. Ill break it down for you briefly. I have a regular job as a guy who hauls really expensive furniture from a warehouse or delivers it to a show room or to the homes of the more fortunate people in society. I deliver dressers that cost more than my whole film and then some! A couch which could be another budget for me 3 times over! It kills me to drop this stuff to peoples homes who are throwing money away on such items just because they can. All I keep thinking is man I can make 3 movies with the amount of money this person spent on this one coffee table! I dropped off a piece of furniture to the home of a pretty big actor yesterday and the whole time I’m thinking I should be making movies but instead I’m delivering furniture to this cool actors house. The worse part of it was I knew in advance that I would be going to this persons home, who will remain anonymous out of respect, so I decided to pack a Bong shirt and a DVD for him. I felt like a total asshole standing in this guys nice multimillion dollar condo over looking the ocean thinking in my head how am I going to give him the shirt and DVD without looking like a douche bag “Furniture mover guy” with a pipe dream! How is he supposed to take me seriously when im in grubby clothes holding his iron dresses in my hands as he points to where he would like me to put it. Since I have no shame and imn proud of being a dreamer I put his piece of expensive furniture down then opened my nap sack and pulled out the shirt to which he replied “Fucking cool!” I knew he was a cool guy right away and felt more at ease. I then pulled out the Bong OF The Dead DVD an put it in his hand and told him I was a director who had made his own film named Bong Of The dead to which he replied….”Ive totally heard of it!” To be quite honest I kind of expected that reaction because my best friend/Co Producer of Bong of the dead and his girlfriend happen to work on this actors show which is pretty major right now. they’ve been plugging him for days since the film was released. It was still weird to be in his living room having this conversation. However I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason. I dont think that I would have ever had the opportunity to approach this actor on set and have this conversation or hand him the items. That would be considered unprofessional and looked down upon by production. Im glad I got the opportunity to introduce myself in person and do what I did. What will it do for me or my career…….absolutely nothing! Unless this young actor sees the film and passes it along to someone he knows who is looking for a director. Maybe it’ll happen, who knows. I guess being a crappy furniture mover guy is not such a bad gig. Still its not nearly as cool as filmmaker guy!
Dont get me wrong I’m not vein at all and a job is a job so I couldn’t give a shit if I had to scrub toilets for a living just as long as it kept me afloat so that I could continue to promote my movie. Wait….I did scrub toilets for a living year 2 of being in post production making my movie just so I could pay bills as I edited my film. To me it means nothing whatever job title i hold just as long as it keeps the greedy fucking government and the credit card companies off my ass while I work on my true job and calling. Trust me I have had a few jobs through out this journey always looking for the perfect job which would allow me maximum time for working on Bong Of The Dead. Ive run junkie infested roach hotels, managed seedy bars like Dalton from Roadhouse, worked in the worlds shittiest electronic retailer rip off store to managing warehouses and scrubbing toilets as a late night janitor at a local martial arts gym. I love the stink of sweat from other peoples workouts at 3 AM, then scrubbing their urine off the toilet seats! Yup….love it…..sigh. Currently Im working 2 jobs back to back in order to keep paying bills which I have to accumulate for life and for Bong. A lot of people have no idea that after you make a movie it costs money to keep the movie alive! I have to pay for DVD.s, screeners, postal fees for each screener, posters and print materials, festivals which cost hundreds of dollars.
I love festivals! This stage of the film game is so fun and uplifting. They take your money first and then tell you DENIED! Nice fucking gig, I should get into that festival thing at some point. They seem to make a lot of money! I mean they must because they attract people like Brad Pitt and other A-listers who show up to promote a film they are in which is supposedly indie which is why the festival chose it. Has nothing to do with the 2-3 million dollar budgets and the fact they are directed by directors like James Cameron…nope NOT AT ALL….its indie all the way! Im sure they lived in cardboard boxes and had to brown bag their lunches each day in order to stay within their tiny 2-3 million dollar budgets just to qualify as an Indie film for some prestigious festival. Here I am a guy who made a film which is actually good for the equivalent of what one of these other “indie” films would spend on coffee alone on their films! Breath……sorry festivals are a touchy subject with me right now. Where were we? Oh yes, Im currently also working 2 jobs which occupy about 14-15 hours of my life!
I come home from job number one being rich peoples furniture bitch, shower then drive off to some far away location being an EPK bitch on some other directors film set. Dont get me wrong I know Im lucky to have not only one job but 2 in an economy that’s ever collapsing. Im grateful for that because it allows me to keep paying for Bongs promotions and keeps the wolves at bay! I just wish I was making movies is all. That is why I do crap jobs in hopes that one day I will be making movies and I can look back to all this shit and say to myself…imagine if I gave up? Anyways after my long days of working, I get home to my 3rd job. The one which does not pay me anything but rather costs me my mind, health, relationships and money and every last second of my life even during my first 2 jobs! I try to answer and send emails when i can while on set or in the warehouse. Bong Of The dead is my life and has been for almost 4 years now since its birth. Its like a child or rather more like a growth which feeds of of you and drains you and breaks you down to your moral fibers with little to no satisfaction as of yet. Making the film is satisfying but keeping it alive is draining.
Trying to keep the film on everyone’s mind and in the spot light is far more draining then when I was editing or creating the music or doing complex composites. Ive contacted every major distribution company from Hong Kong to Germany! Ive contacted every major Podcaster and film reviewer and horror magazine from here to Nantucket! I send an average, no word of a lie, an average of 3-500 emails a week! That is non stop contacting and sending emails to tell anyone I can about the film and ask them for their help in reviewing my film. A small fraction of all the people I contact will get back to me asking for a screener which I then have to ship out at cost to myself.
At the end of the day I have done and am doing everything I can to make this film blow up but it would be nice to see some kind of financial gain and career boost from it. Im not upset about my slow success Im just growing impatient and wish I could just be making movies for a living by now. I know my film will be released all over Europe and Australia come October. Although that is awesome Im just not sure what that would mean really for me. Will I get “The call” from some big Hollywood Producer who begs me to make his next film? Will the movie blow up even further and I end up on some late night talk show talking about how I almost went crazy 100 times and contemplated the question of life another 100 times or wanted to just say fuck it all and quit? Or will I become the worlds most famous broke filmmaker? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. I did hear that the world is supposed to end sometime in October of 2012. Maybe Ill just ride it out until the true zombie apocalypse happens then build myself a kick ass truck with lawnmowers welded to the front of it.
For now, thanks for listening to my rants going from positive to negative every other blog. I dont mean to be that way its just the train im on right now. I’m up and I’m down all at the same time. Thank you to all the fans and critics of BOTD and all my friends who send me positive reviews which help me stay on track knowing that Im doing it for a good reason. Until next time…
Dare to Dream!
